Princess Slayer, what's actually in your handbag right now?

This past week the ladies at the Hairpin emptied out their purses for the world to see, and since I love that shit and the last time I did it was in 2008 (love how I always need bandaids), I figured I was due. I considered throwing my dice bag in there to get some cred but it felt disingenuous, seeing as I haven't played since our DM moved away.


Here we go, clockwise starting with the wallet!




1. Fossil/Relic wallet, full of discount cards for Borders and ABC Liquor and I think five bucks.


2. A measuring tape, which, you have no idea how useful this is sometimes. No idea. I was planning to empty this out and use it as a pill case, but it doesn't close properly. The mints were disgusting so I ended up dumping them out. I'm still hopeful.


3. Dinosaur print makeup bag containing a tampon, Clinique black honey lipstick, chapstick, a ponytail holder, two nail files (?!) and white citrus perfume.


4. Sad utilitarian keys. I no longer have a key fob because I lost my keys somewhere across America when I was roadtripping this summer and didn't realize it until I was home. They could be anywhere from Los Angeles to Pensacola, and I have no fucking idea where. That was a problem when I tried to get back in my own car, let me tell you.


5. Lucky Brand purse (that I may have stolen from my mom).


6. Moleskine planner, Staedler pens. The hipster standard. I'm more likely to be organized if I have pretty shit that I feel guilty about not using. And my six year old ipod which still works like a champ and has every embarrassing song I've ever downloaded since I was 16.


7. Freefloating "Yes to Carrots" lip balm and lotion. Excellent shit, and you feel all responsible and organic.


8. Pocketknife and unholy rats nest of a jump drive on a string and old handsfree for a phone I haven't had since October that I discovered when I opened the zip pocket on the inside of my purse. Bonus: busted silica packet!


9. Iphone with Jonathan Adler case and naked lady matches from a tapas restaurant with one burnt match put back in the box.


10. Bandaids, which are a necessity if you're me, honey-scented solid perfume (I change my perfume according to season, okay) and my ACTUAL pill case.